How to Torture Yourself

I like to do research on things, different things, things I might want to buy, or things I'm having done. It helps me get an idea of what I should expect and what it will look like.

Its been 10 months since my braces were put on which means it's almost time for my jaw surgery. Before I got my braces put on, I researched all the different types of braces, what they looked like, what colors I could get, what the pain would be like, how much it costs, and how long people typically had them on. To date, its been a fairly uncomplicated process and not much to complain about. My teeth were always straight, it was more about the bite. A bite that doesn't have a home of its own. As my dentist said at my last check-up, "how the hell are you eating?" Well, I haven't lost but a few pounds, so it must not be an issue.

I've dealt with a defunct jaw for as long as I can remember, it not matching up, big deal. I've been a rubber band bandit since month 3 which has manifested its own bad habit. You'd think that for someone with consistent jaw pain, doing something that causes it to be sore, would know better. Call me stupid. I have this band in the back that I love to 'click' by moving my jaw a certain way. A certain way that makes it sore if i do it long enough. I don't do it when there is no rubber band, but damn it, as soon as I put it on, I'm like a fly to shit.

Clearly I'm not in enough pain on a regular basis, I just like to torture myself.

It's only a few months away and I'll be able to do head shots for the Nutty Professor or Big Mamas House. But in the end it will all be worth it, right?

I watched the Winter X-Games this past weekend and Scotty Lago was competing with a freshly fixed broken jaw. It was rubber banded shut and you could tell if and when he smiled. It got me thinking, I wonder what post-op is actually like. I started to do some research on the aftermath of jaw surgery, and its a good thing I wasn't eating lunch.

Obviously it depends on the type of jaw surgery you are having, if its one jaw or two (yes you have two jaws) and how severe your issue is. I watched a video of a surgery on YouTube, what the F was I thinking? The incision in the upper gum line wasn't so bad because I couldn't really tell, but when they got to the underside, I had to turn it off. I gulped and then shuddered. How stupid was that? I don't think I really want to know, just do it and make it better.

From my research I believe I'll be at home for about 6-9 days with chipmunk syndrome and then I think I can muster up enough guts to go back to work looking like a hot freak show. I'll just have to throw up a middle finger to defend myself, since I wont be able to talk much. I plan on losing some more weight and eating about the same as my grandmother. By the time I am 31, maybe I'll be ready for some professional photos. Oh wait, ill still have braces on. Okay, make it 32.