As this is your first day, you should warm up with an easy task that will change you life a little bit.
Choose one of the following options:
1. Do one press up. I'm old, so I'll pass on this one.
2. Perform a striptease (in private). Who doesn't do this every day?
3. Triple-tie your shoelaces. I'm old, so I try not to wear shoes that require tying.
4. Learn to play 'chopsticks' on the piano. Pianos are expensive, I don't own one, and I suck at music.
5. Increase your typing speed by three words a minute. By typing this awesome blog, I think I have accomplished this.
6. Jaywalk in a pedestrian zone. I live in Portland, if you don't jaywalk whenever the opportunity arises, you suck and should move.
7. Set all your clocks to exactly the right time. I simply cannot do this because that would throw off my moe-joe in the AM, to know that I have another 5 minutes before I REALLY have to get up.
8. Whisper a white lie when no one's listening. I really don't want to blog anymore.
9. Fantasize about your partner. Doing what?
10. Use a different thickness comb. I've always wanted a fro.
11. Say 'yo' instead of 'hello'. Does 'hey' count?
12. Hold the phone up to your other ear. It doesn't feel right.
13. Tell someone your middle name. Anne. Hopefully someone is reading this.
14. Try a new sandwich filling. I am a habitual person, this is not in my DNA. And doing it wouldn't change my life, it would just piss me off.
15. Leave work five minutes early. Done.
16. Bookmark a new website. http://fireonforesthill.blogspot.com/
17. Give your genitalia pet names. Thanks to Yo Gaba Gaba, I now have a Foofa.
18. Decide which one of your toes is the prettiest. The second one, which is the longest.
19. Insult an insect. I'll have to work on this for the next time I see one.
20. Go on a one-minute hunger strike. It's 7 minutes 'till lunch, beat that.
I don't know that any of these would change my life, even a little bit. Well, maybe #7. It would change my day for sure.
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